Why I Want to be a Wife

I belong to a group of people commonly referred to as young women. I am a young woman. But in a society so highly esteemed, a term as rudimentary as this is contested in the most “highly educated” circles. Therefore, I suppose my subsequent traits such as Catholic, American and Conservative, may further clarify what I mean when I invoke the word “woman.”
Not too long ago, I was made to read a particularly “provocative” magazine essay written by a particularly “provocative” writer. As with most pieces of leftist satire, it was stuffed full of jokes so edgy I hesitate to even refer to them as such, and walls of one sided attacks so easy to see through that my polemicist-trained ego soared to unprecedented levels that afternoon.
One day, I would like to go home, so that I can fulfill the most important purpose that God has called not only me, but countless other women to do. I would like to nurture and educate my own children, so as to not have to send them off to an institution that I can barely even remember the name of. I would like to have time to build a connection with them, and create bonds built on support and trust that won’t be endangered by my having to miss a quartet performance or a JV soccer game for a meeting in a distant town with a boss I barely know. I should not miss these important events, no matter how small they seem to be. And while things may come up, such as a sick sibling that needs extra attention, I know that my children would notice a pattern of missing many small activities if I were stuck in the web of the corporate world, which will undoubtedly cause them to lose faith in my capacity (or desire) to appear with an earnest set of hands for the victories, and a tissue for the losses, embarrassments, or failures. I do not want to do this for myself, but for my family. For my (God willing) 4-plus children, who will naturally rely on their mother for support, love, and stability.

I do not want to be a schoolteacher, who is only there when it benefits my paycheck. I want to be a mother, who is omnipresent in my children’s lives, whether it be through my physical presence, or through the values of faith, hope, and charity that I will have gently and lovingly impressed on their hearts.

Beside me, I also pray that God blesses me with a committed husband, who knows the value of hard work, and that every dollar he makes through whatever vocation he feels called to is for his wife and children who eagerly anticipate his return home for dinner every night. I understand that not everything will be enjoyable for him, and for both of us, in fact. There will be days where he does not want to go to work just as there will be days where I do not want to be left with the seemingly incessant administrative-like tasks of making doctor’s appointments and scheduling car inspections. However deep down, I will know that even if it may not be what I want to do at the moment, it is what I ought to do. One rather intelligent apologist observes that many often believe that “love is something you fall into and out of as you would a tree or a hammock, instead of a commitment that must push through rough times.” As a couple, my husband and I will come to understand the value of commitment to each other, and to our children. Through all trials, Christ will guide us through, as through Him, we can not only do all things, but be strengthened in those efforts. Right now, I understand that love is an action, not an emotion, but with later experience, I will truly be able to comprehend it.
I do not want to be a secretary, who resentfully trudges to my cubicle every week and spends my days scheduling incessant meetings and appointments for Mr. McGillicuddy, the factory foreman who, in this sensitive environment would be dancing on glass trying not to be cancelled for saying something mildly “offensive” to someone of the opposite sex. I want to be a wife who, when enduring the neverending calls, hold-line music, and appointment making, can do so in anticipation of my husband’s and children’s reaction to that night’s homemade supper.

I want to be a sociable family, who through meeting other families from homeschool co-ops, Bible studies, and my children’s extracurricular activities, will find lifelong friends with common interests, goals, and values. I want to be able to set up playdates with not only our children, but both families, where my husband and I too can socialize with fellow members of our church community, homeschool group, or orchestra and art classes. I don’t want to be a family that is over-reliant on babysitters or nannies, and get caught in a cycle of handing our children over every time my husband and I need to work long hours, or weekly “breaks from the kids.” Of course, it is perfectly within reason to want to spend some time with my husband alone, however I don’t believe it would be in anyone’s best interests to rely on a nanny raising our children around potentially questionable practices and lessons being taught to them. I pray that God gives my husband and I the capacity to raise our children to be well-adjusted and mature, and that we put in the effort earlier on in their lives into creating a healthy environment so we, as well as other people around us can reap the benefits of having raised children who are a pleasure to be around.

I do not want to be an events planner, who works for a man who is always eager to leave his primitively-natured offspring behind to drink with his partner, whom he can only “love” if he is a few drinks in. I want to be an active member of my community, the people to whom I owe well-developed children, as those are the people who will have to “deal with,” (in one capacity or another) my children when they have proven themselves ready, willing, and able to live independently of my immediate care.
I politely ask God to bless me with a husband who not only knows, but honors the laws of sexual chastity, so that I know I am with someone who knows my inherent value, and who respects his own. I desire a husband who believes that sex is best understood to be a conjugal act that is oriented towards the procreation of children, and that we will be blessed with however many children God gifts us with. I pray that we never cease to have an open and honest bond, where our love for each other not only provides the opportunity to patiently talk through any possible issues we may be having, but even mitigates the opportunity for temptations and jealousies to occur in the first place.

I do not want to be a prostitute, who suffers from the lust of strangers at the behest of my own lust for money and who turns a sacred act into a business transaction. I want to be a wife, who is confident in my own future as a dignified woman of God and who enjoys a life with the people that are most important to me.

I hesitate to use any language that sounds overly demanding, as whatever He wills is bound to happen. I know that God has the best plan for my life that anyone could possibly have for me. In my search, I am not looking for a man who fits into my idea of the “perfect husband,” as it indicates that I believe I will be somewhat of a perfect wife. I do look for a man who is willing to aim for an eternally high standard, because with him by my side, I will hold myself to those same levels. And God willing, we will both strive to create the best version of the most fundamental unit of society hand in hand and heart in heart.

My gosh, who wouldn’t want to be a wife?